A few mornings past I woke to the beauty of falling snow... and the SCREAMING of my 17-month-old. Talk about an inner conflict. Have you ever tried to meditate on beauty and peace while someone shrieking in the background? It's a real "Zen" exercise - if I believed in all that.
That is the essence of the Taylor world these days... choosing joy in the midst of chaos. :) Our friends told us 3 was "critical mass" (yes that is a direct quote), but, as with having your first child, there's really no understanding until you've experienced it. And I write this laughingly, because you have to laugh.
~The joy of Christmas music wafts over the tornado fallout that is my kitchen, and dining room, AND living room...
~The excitement of leaving the house overpowers the incessant wailing of my infant who hates his car seat, as did his brothers before him. (I'd buy a new one, but at this point?...)
~PBS kids buys me time to feed the baby without fearing the older ones will end up broken or bloody, and yet places their long term behavior in question.
It's a lot more like juggling now. And I'm laughing because I've always been PATHETIC at juggling. :) Dusty's really good at it (what is he NOT good at?).
Still, as the snow fell again last night, I found myself in the Winco parking lot singing, "I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas" loudly enough for people to notice. :) In it all, there is an underlying peace - a confidence in the One who has redeemed me - that He sees it all and will give me/us the tools we need to endure and navigate the tough moments :) And, yes, I know those of you with 4plus or who've had twins are laughing at me and shaking your heads :) And then there's that lady who is expecting her 18th? OMword!
2 comments:
You are more graceful then you know my friend. I have no doubt, even with three--you still shine. Love and miss you much. Find serenity in the quiet moments -- I'll be praying for more of those for you!
Hi Tammi- I remember those early days,after my 3rd was born, feeling overwhelmed and outnumbered...You and Dusty are ahead of the game, even if it doesn't feel like it, with your grace and thought-fullness---you are aware of what is important and even though it won't always go as you want, you are thinking and aware...Bless you for that! That is so important and will make surely make a difference in your children...
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