When the Path is Dim

Dear Love,
It seems to me, lately, that it's harder to find You. I know it is not that You're unavailable or silent. Your still, small voice rings unmistakably when I toil to stop and strain to hear.

I believe it is more that my eyes become misdirected. There is a line that weaves between walking in faith and resting in faith. Do I simply wait for You? What should I do while I wait? I dare not simply twiddle my thumbs vainly. Hope is dying. Love is fading. Hearts lose courage and trip over roots of bitterness on the path to surrender. There is too much at stake to simply lie in wait. And You say I must believe that You reward me when I earnestly seek You. So I know to be still truly means to be in a motion of another kind. Chasing Your peace, pursuing Your rest.

Oh, I love You. And there are moments - when I take away the lie of this world's sufficiency - and see clearly that there is nothing secure in this life. Houses burn; governments fail; currencies change; jobs end; relationships wane; life is but a vapor. In those seconds where I sit completely secure in the insecurity of it all, I feel Your heart most clearly. I understand the tears You shed. I see what You see, and Your love truly is better than life.

But there is much to be done - and sometimes the doing leaves You in the dim... when we step in our own understanding and your heartbeat fades. Amazing how one misstep leads to a completely errant path... So, I'm asking You... keep me near You... Whether I turn to the right or to the left let my ears hear Your voice behind me saying, "This is the way. Walk in it." Cause me to listen. Allow me to hear. Hold me closer.

I love you,
Tam