14

Dear Dustin,
There are days when it feels like you have been mine forever - moments when I forget you were not there the day I learned to ride a bike or lost my first tooth.

And there are days when I try to imagine the possibility of life without you if - God forbid - something were to take you from me. Then I quickly pray God will call me first because, of the two of us, you are the least likely to crumble into a hopeless heap of helplessness.

But mostly I spend my days in gratitude - that God would bring me a "you." I remember the day I realized with astonishment that He had somehow heard the unspoken cries of my little heart and made a man that had so many of the unbelievable qualities I not only wanted, but needed. I think of the dark days when I had no hope and no desire to cope - how you were there, even in your own pain, making sure I took one step, and then another - forcing me to speak truths I could not see or believe.

I find myself all at once torn between the desire for the whole world to see how amazing you are, and wanting to hide your brilliance for myself alone. I treasure you in my heart - the mystery of this love that my Love would grant me. That of all the things He has given me - I would get you as well. Amazing. Confounding.

We celebrate the years, but I rejoice in the moments. It is one more day, one more kiss, one more glance, one more laugh, one more tear, one more smile, one more struggle with you. Each of them is an undeserved gift and a beautiful blessing.

I love you,
Tam