Never Alone

We were most definitely created for relationship. No matter who you are, how independent or strong, there comes a time when each of us wants to belong, feel welcome, known...

This week Dusty and I went to Boise. We figured since we're about 30 days from the move it MIGHT be a good idea to procure housing for our boys :). 

A couple gracious families agreed to keep Dax and Draes, and they had a great time. I figured Draes would take it the hardest, being so young and my more "clingy" of the two.

I was surprised. Dax got very emotional upon our return, "I just missed you so much." (Even though he'd been running and playing like a banshee on 5 acres the entire time.) He has since been at my side CONSTANTLY. But the precious moment came this morning when he and Draes reunited. Dax got up from his chair with a big smile and came to give his brother a hug and a kiss. Draes, in turn, grunted and started bouncing up and down. "Thank you for waking up Draes to come and see me," Dax said. But I could see it in his eyes... this was "home." This is what family was suppose to be: Daddy, Mommy, Daxton and Draes. 

All day we've experienced tears and had to reassure him we're all together and Mommy and Daddy will never leave him alone. I'm realizing it's simply going to take a couple days for him to see things will be as they were and we're telling the truth. We will never leave him alone.

I find myself wondering why we have to remind him. We told him before we left. We told him we'd be back. We've told him since we've BEEN back...

Funny thing is... as I look at this "thing" we are called to in Boise. There are days, moments when I shed tears. I wonder "what are we doing?" Not because I'm unsure of God's call, not because I'm unsure of His power. It's the sheer magnitude of it. Here we are moving to a land we don't know, hoping to share Christ with a people we don't fully understand, uprooting our family and others' families, leaving people we love desperately... It's in those moments I feel myself, much like my four-year-old, clinging to Jesus's leg, as it were, crying out in simple fear of the unknown, "Jesus, please go with us. Please don't leave us alone." And he smiles and whispers to me, as I whisper to my small one, who cannot see beyond his own perspective, "You are never alone. Never alone."

Excuse me while I go find my son and hold him a little tighter.

The bond of brotherhood

Hey everyone, 

Well a week or so ago, the boys "Papa" suggested I start a blog with updates and photos of the boys. I've wanted to do a blog for awhile and his "insistent look" :) gave me the extra motivation I, apparently, needed :) So here you go...

I'm taken back lately by the bond the boys already share. They're about 3 1/2 years apart, and very different in many ways, but there's this LOOK they exchange... Honestly, Dusty and I are preparing for, what will undoubtedly be, many mischievous fiascoes to come. Still, it's so fun to see them share a special affection. It's crazy, when you love someone so intently, knowing someone else sees that value in them... it's like a little club.

ANYWAY, on to the fun stuff... Draes continues to be a joy and a do-er. He's our cuddly one - stopping about every 15 minutes in his playtime to find me and solicit being held or snuggled, until he's ready to check out some new venture. He loves to touch his brother's face and crawl around on his dad. In his insta-style, Draes started pulling up to his knees, deciding to make his debut in the bathtub - much to my dismay as my soapy hands slipped and slimed to keep him upright. He just laughed. I promptly went out and purchased a bath seat. The little man still refuses to crawl; why should he when he can army crawl/inchworm across a room in 8.5 seconds, right? And, he's made it clear just HOW aware he is of his world. If he's not particularly in the MOOD for cheerios (that day) he'll make a "yucky" face, spit them out, arch his back and cry-------- Apparently he'll be the food critic in the family  :) Draes also gives his brother a run for his money. There will be no "I can take your toy away because you're just a baby" for this one. If Dax decides Drae shouldn't have something and tries to take it, a loud protest quickly sounds. Even so, everything big brother does is SO FUNNY, so they seem to make amends easily right now.

Speaking of Dax... he's growing up SO fast. His heart and his mind amaze me. He is all creativity and compassion. His imagination is off the charts lately; every moment holds some new song or scenario or idea for how we can dance to this or build that or... I find myself wishing there was nothing else to do so I could escape with him to these places he's going. Childhood really is more fun the second time around  (though my mom says the third is even better :). Dax decided the other week he wanted to open a school so he could teach all the kids. He's very much a people person - unafraid of anyone in any situation... LOL and unafraid to share our entire family history and the contents of his stomach :) I wish I had his pluck! And, oh, how he loves his brother! The other day, in his breakfast prayer, he thanked God for "making a baby named Draes." In the car, when Draes is upset, he gives him the play-by-play of where we are and how long until we'll be there. "It's ok, Draes. We're almost home. Don't be sad, mommy just loves you and daddy just loves you and I love you and Jesus loves you. You're a part of our family." Today I walked in the room to see them lying on the floor, face to face. Dax was saying, "Draes, you can't pick your nose. You need to ask for help. And you can't spit; you should ask for a napkin. And  you need to share your toys with people." He's such a helper. I've started packing for the move, so he writes labels for the boxes and cuts them out and scotch tapes them to the box. :) 

As much as our children need us to grow and learn and be shaped into their pathways, I wonder if we need them more to be reminded of the beauty and the joy of life, and what's truly important in the end...

Well, it's late, so I should end this. I'll try to keep up with it, as I don't know when I'll ever be able to figure out the old web page. Hope you are all well. Know there are 4 Taylors who love you!