Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Taylor Tales 2011

Dear You,
   Welcome to the digital "Taylor Year in Review." I honestly despise writing these because they seem so self-focused, but I'm also terrible at consistent updates for loved ones far away. We know there are those who like to know what we've been up to. So, to that end...

I (Tammi) continue to chase my 4 amazing boys around (yes, I include Dusty in that mix for reasons I shall relay in his segment) AND this year, I also branched out in some dreams God has had on my heart since I was a teen. I had the privilege of being the primary speaker for a small women's retreat here - which was an absolute honor, and also finished the first draft of a novel God has birthed in me. I am not certain what all He has in store on that front, but I will continue to walk through doors as He opens them.

Daxton gave us great joy this year when he declared his belief in Jesus as His forgiver and the leader in His life, and then asked to be baptized. I cannot fully describe the joy at watching my husband baptize our son! Dax turned 8 in November and continues to prove he inherited his father's out-of-the-box mindset and optimism. He is always inventing something or dreaming about something. He amazes me as he leads and nurtures his brothers and searches out deep mysteries of life. He will start basketball soon (much to his daddy's delight), and we are excited to see what new facets of his character that will reveal.

Draes turned 4 in June and is a continual joy! He never ceases to baffle us with his generosity and consideration of others. In recent months, he has taken to breaking into long and detailed songs at the end of which he asks, "Mommy, was it great?" Being songwriters ourselves, we see no alternative but to foster that in him. It's lots of fun! Drae is always demonstrating some new "move" - be it dance or superhero. And, while he is all boy, athletically, his tenderness shines brightly. He is a champion of justice :) and does not receive ANYTHING (water, a cookie, a hug) without wanting one for his brothers also.

Dezdin turned 3 in November and has become - what I like to call - my stealth bomber... he is still our quiet child, and he has learned how that works to his advantage. I frequently walk into the kitchen to find him in the eye of some created storm. He is silent and fast and, when confronted, always begins with "but Mommy..." From infancy he has been a student - watching in silence for great lengths - learning relationships and patterns and navigating within or around them. We are realizing with certainty, he will be a mystery we are continually unwrapping.

Dusty... oh my... I met an author this year who published his first book at age 70. I asked Dusty, "Do you think you'll be starting new things at 70?" But I knew the answer even before he responded. He is currently carrying 3 part-time gigs in addition to the more-than-full-time requirements of church planting. Thankfully for us, he thrives on action, and we work hard to do most things as a family. I'm amazed at how he provides for us, encourages each of our dreams, and continues to be passionate about all God has called Him to do in leading a positive, authentic community at Connections. I think I probably say it every year, but I am absolutely fascinated by who he is and all that he does. In addition to very part time real estate and marketing, his latest venture has been assistant coaching the varsity boys at Cole Valley Christian High School. They are currently undefeated, and he is really enjoying the whole package: the guys, his head coach, the game, pouring into his players... He also recorded his first album in a decade - so we are excitedly searching out the best venue for publishing that. (Makes your head spin doesn't he?)

Church planting continues to be the greatest struggle and joy we have known, second to parenting :). It is humbling to be in a community of people who are pursuing Jesus, His grace and healing. God glorifies Himself, and we are just thankful to be a part of watching him change lives (others and our own). It is our constant prayer that God will draw each of us and you toward greater depths of faith and truth in Him. There is no greater place to be than in the center of His heartbeat. May 2012 find you chasing Him with everything that you are. Love to you, from us.

Dusty, Tammi, Dax, Drae n Dez...

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

14

Dear Dustin,
There are days when it feels like you have been mine forever - moments when I forget you were not there the day I learned to ride a bike or lost my first tooth.

And there are days when I try to imagine the possibility of life without you if - God forbid - something were to take you from me. Then I quickly pray God will call me first because, of the two of us, you are the least likely to crumble into a hopeless heap of helplessness.

But mostly I spend my days in gratitude - that God would bring me a "you." I remember the day I realized with astonishment that He had somehow heard the unspoken cries of my little heart and made a man that had so many of the unbelievable qualities I not only wanted, but needed. I think of the dark days when I had no hope and no desire to cope - how you were there, even in your own pain, making sure I took one step, and then another - forcing me to speak truths I could not see or believe.

I find myself all at once torn between the desire for the whole world to see how amazing you are, and wanting to hide your brilliance for myself alone. I treasure you in my heart - the mystery of this love that my Love would grant me. That of all the things He has given me - I would get you as well. Amazing. Confounding.

We celebrate the years, but I rejoice in the moments. It is one more day, one more kiss, one more glance, one more laugh, one more tear, one more smile, one more struggle with you. Each of them is an undeserved gift and a beautiful blessing.

I love you,
Tam