I apologize for my silence the last couple days. I've been wrestling with some things and not sure how or what to share.
At this moment, it is 3:45 am. I am sitting in a hotel in Bangkok, waiting for the taxi to take us to the airport. I am overwhelmed. As Brittany's alarm went off this morning to the song "Restless" by Switchfoot, I was overcome with tears.
How do I go home? I am not the same. (You never are after experiences like this. I knew that was coming.) I know I am not called here full time, like some. But I am not the same Tammi I was. It will affect everything. I will return to my life somewhat an alien. And I don't want to go back and just add this to a list of photographs in the mental album of my life.
But in my devotions, God led me to this:
"Behold my servant whom I have chosen; M beloved in whom My soul is well-pleased; I will put My Spirit upon Him and He shall proclaim justice to the [Thais]. . . A battered reed He will not break off, and a smoldering wick He will not put out until He leads justice to victory. And in His Name the [Thai People] will hope." Matthew 12:18-21
He is the victor. He will hold my heart and lead me, as a new self, through a life full of patterns and relationships that must be navigated anew. He is the author and finisher of faith. And HE will bring the Thais to hope. The work is His.
Praise Jesus.
Wednesday, September 4, 2013
Sunday, September 1, 2013
Days 11 & 12
Saturday, I was still in a great deal of pain, so Dusty and Dax went to teach English. Ros said in the slow season the people have more time to come so they make themselves available more often. The location teaching (at McDonalds) is relatively new. She used to simply walk the streets and teach whomever was interested.
Pain is a distractor. I'm frustrated that it is keeping me either down or unable to invest my whole self. But, today I found a Thai New Testament. Long story, but I feel like . . . no I KNOW God is telling me to give it to Thom (recently realized I was misspelling his name :/ ). Perhaps the pain will last just as long as it takes to deliver it to him???
Saturday night we gathered in our room for team worship. James and Gail (Irish friends Jeremy and Lisa had met when they were here) had arrived and joined us. It's a precious, crazy-amazing thing to gather as the Body when there are so few of you. I feel like I understand better why such amazing things happened in the Acts church. Of course they wanted to fellowship and break bread together EVERY DAY. Of course they soaked up the apostle's teaching like sponges. When those who share your faith and values are less than 1% of the population, having time with said saints is a deep breath of pure oxygen.
This morning we had ACC and shortly after were scheduled to head out to another village to teach English. I was concerned about the time frame. Since God had made the directive clear that I was to give a New Testament to Thom, and because my neck really needed to be worked on again, I wanted to get to the #10 hut before we left. "Lord, help it to fit," I prayed. Interestingly, the resort where we meet asked us to end early that day due to other events going on! Hmmm. I thought. I had spent the better part of service (yes, while listening ;) ) searching my Bible for salvation scriptures and then, by counting books, locating them in the Thai New Testament and underlining them. I figured, if he only thumbed through it, these might catch his notice.
I hurried slowly to the spot. "Interestingly" again, the gentleman who did my massage worked almost exclusively on my left side (where my injury is) without my ever mentioning it. Then I gave Thom the New Testament. When I said, "Praht Jao tell me give this to you. You read? Praht Jao uay pan!" He looked at me like I might be slightly mental . . . he's not entirely wrong, ha ha. But I also imagine his gods don't speak to him, so that would be new. It was kind of refreshing, though, that I felt out of my element sharing it with him - much like I feel sharing with people in the states. It reminds me I'm doing what I've been commanded, not what is comfortable. And while that is unsettling, it is also strangely securing. Please pray for the Spirit to draw Thom.
I got back just in time to change and meet the team to head to Kru Salee's village (Jeremy's Muay Thai trainer). They have a beautiful clearing just behind their village where we were able to gather, play games and sing songs to help teach them English. It was extraordinary. They are such a sweet people.
From there, much of the team went on to do manual labor for another ministry in a Sea Gypsy village. Do you know what a sea gypsy is? Yup, me neither. I'll probably google it hereafter or wait for the team to get back and explain. The work their doing is a bit dangerous - working in dirty sea water - so children were not allowed. Between Dusty and me, I suppose they got the better deal.
I ask for your prayers for complete healing of this pain soon. I would like to finish well. It is a great struggle to be effective in this condition. Thank you!
Pain is a distractor. I'm frustrated that it is keeping me either down or unable to invest my whole self. But, today I found a Thai New Testament. Long story, but I feel like . . . no I KNOW God is telling me to give it to Thom (recently realized I was misspelling his name :/ ). Perhaps the pain will last just as long as it takes to deliver it to him???
Saturday night we gathered in our room for team worship. James and Gail (Irish friends Jeremy and Lisa had met when they were here) had arrived and joined us. It's a precious, crazy-amazing thing to gather as the Body when there are so few of you. I feel like I understand better why such amazing things happened in the Acts church. Of course they wanted to fellowship and break bread together EVERY DAY. Of course they soaked up the apostle's teaching like sponges. When those who share your faith and values are less than 1% of the population, having time with said saints is a deep breath of pure oxygen.
This morning we had ACC and shortly after were scheduled to head out to another village to teach English. I was concerned about the time frame. Since God had made the directive clear that I was to give a New Testament to Thom, and because my neck really needed to be worked on again, I wanted to get to the #10 hut before we left. "Lord, help it to fit," I prayed. Interestingly, the resort where we meet asked us to end early that day due to other events going on! Hmmm. I thought. I had spent the better part of service (yes, while listening ;) ) searching my Bible for salvation scriptures and then, by counting books, locating them in the Thai New Testament and underlining them. I figured, if he only thumbed through it, these might catch his notice.
I hurried slowly to the spot. "Interestingly" again, the gentleman who did my massage worked almost exclusively on my left side (where my injury is) without my ever mentioning it. Then I gave Thom the New Testament. When I said, "Praht Jao tell me give this to you. You read? Praht Jao uay pan!" He looked at me like I might be slightly mental . . . he's not entirely wrong, ha ha. But I also imagine his gods don't speak to him, so that would be new. It was kind of refreshing, though, that I felt out of my element sharing it with him - much like I feel sharing with people in the states. It reminds me I'm doing what I've been commanded, not what is comfortable. And while that is unsettling, it is also strangely securing. Please pray for the Spirit to draw Thom.
I got back just in time to change and meet the team to head to Kru Salee's village (Jeremy's Muay Thai trainer). They have a beautiful clearing just behind their village where we were able to gather, play games and sing songs to help teach them English. It was extraordinary. They are such a sweet people.
From there, much of the team went on to do manual labor for another ministry in a Sea Gypsy village. Do you know what a sea gypsy is? Yup, me neither. I'll probably google it hereafter or wait for the team to get back and explain. The work their doing is a bit dangerous - working in dirty sea water - so children were not allowed. Between Dusty and me, I suppose they got the better deal.
I ask for your prayers for complete healing of this pain soon. I would like to finish well. It is a great struggle to be effective in this condition. Thank you!
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