A few mornings past I woke to the beauty of falling snow... and the SCREAMING of my 17-month-old. Talk about an inner conflict. Have you ever tried to meditate on beauty and peace while someone shrieking in the background? It's a real "Zen" exercise - if I believed in all that.
That is the essence of the Taylor world these days... choosing joy in the midst of chaos. :) Our friends told us 3 was "critical mass" (yes that is a direct quote), but, as with having your first child, there's really no understanding until you've experienced it. And I write this laughingly, because you have to laugh.
~The joy of Christmas music wafts over the tornado fallout that is my kitchen, and dining room, AND living room...
~The excitement of leaving the house overpowers the incessant wailing of my infant who hates his car seat, as did his brothers before him. (I'd buy a new one, but at this point?...)
~PBS kids buys me time to feed the baby without fearing the older ones will end up broken or bloody, and yet places their long term behavior in question.
It's a lot more like juggling now. And I'm laughing because I've always been PATHETIC at juggling. :) Dusty's really good at it (what is he NOT good at?).
Still, as the snow fell again last night, I found myself in the Winco parking lot singing, "I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas" loudly enough for people to notice. :) In it all, there is an underlying peace - a confidence in the One who has redeemed me - that He sees it all and will give me/us the tools we need to endure and navigate the tough moments :) And, yes, I know those of you with 4plus or who've had twins are laughing at me and shaking your heads :) And then there's that lady who is expecting her 18th? OMword!
