They are my third calling, following closely behind my heart for Jesus and their daddy. It often feels like they are my first, consuming the most time, energy, and all of my cerebral contributions and productivity. . .
Yet, it is sometimes difficult to feel as though I've really enjoyed them. I LOVE being "Mommy." LOVE IT! In fact, they are growing up just slightly too fast and I'm still praying for one more . . . (Dusty and God are holding jury on that :). But I'm a romantic and slightly theatrical at heart, so I measure things in BOOMs and OOHs and AAAHs.
Plenty of BOOMs around here, but they're more often followed with OWWWWs and AAAGGGGGHHHs. Ha ha. I often question myself or my choices when I don't see magnanimous milestones on a daily basis. "We didn't make a scientific discovery today? What kind of mother am I?"
I've noticed I measure my first two callings that way too. There is a constant inner cry for "more time," "more growth" and "more intimacy." I'm finding, however, that those things happen less in the BOOM and more in the constant that follows.
Powerful moments of worship are amazing, but their solidity comes in the Holy Spirit's whispers thereafter as He reminds me He is by my side while I do really spiritual things like the dishes.
The intensity of being swept off my feet by my husband shows its true meaning in each passing day, as he works to pay the bills, fixes his car with his bare hands and pours his heart into the three walking, breathing proofs that our love exists.
And my boys? Truly? As exhilarating as it is when they recite what I've taught them or sit properly at the table (oh, wait, has that happened yet?) those moments are laced in the pure joy of Dezdin taking away a toy simply so he can "share" it again, Draes breaking his cracker into five pieces so he can give one to each family member and Daxton laughing himself to weeping as he purposely misspells words. Yes, I know, it makes no sense to you. Your moments are, no doubt, different. That is why you must reach out and grab them; cherish them as they pass.
I am finding love does come in the BOOMs and OOHs and AAHs. But love stays in the moments. The moments make love true.
Jesus, thank you. As the author of love, you must simply itch that we have not even begun to scratch the surface. And yet, you remain, teaching and nurturing, challenging and calling us to your life, your cross, your heart. Teach us to grab each moment you have gifted us. Thank you for the gift of love. Help us to worship its creator each time it touches our hearts.
