Dreas turns ONE!

June 21st was Draes's first birthday! He didn't really get why all the attention was on him, but he definitely loved the cake! We wish you all could have been here to share it with him. We can hardly believe he's already a year, but he's definitely on the go. 

He's walking everywhere, jabbering all the time, and making his general presence and preferences known. This last year has been an amazing blessing, having Draes in our lives. We can't wait to see what then next year holds for him :)

For more pictures, check out my facebook account :)

One Step at a Time

New things can be overwhelming. 

Having your first child, for instance. Or for that matter, having your first second and your first third child, and so on :) Any "first time" situation can be scary... even terrifying.

Some see a challenge. Others, like me, see the insurmountable. I've wasted hours and hours pondering the mysteries of why my natural bent is fear when it could be faith (like my amazing husband's view). 

Recently there have been so many new things: New town, new people, new baby on the way, new house, new rules, new church, new everything that comes with planting a church... I began to find myself lying awake at night, unable to shake the fear of "all that must be done." 

Then a funny thing happened. My baby started walking. Not funny, ha ha. Funny in that God used it for ME.  I was lying awake... AGAIN... probably about 3:30 am, thinking, "How? How can I possibly juggle all of this? What if I drop everything and make a fool of myself and everyone else?" And God brought to my mind a recent picture of my son and I. A vision of my little boy, barely confident in his steps, reaching for my hand. As he held on to me, not only did he gain confidence, he began to move forward... one... step... at... a time. 

The tears came with the tender voice of God, "Hold on to Me, and take one step at a time."

I love the story of Peter walking on the water (Matthew 14:22-36). "...Then Peter got out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, 'Lord, save me!' Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. 'You of little faith,' he said, 'why did you doubt?' " (vs. 29b-31). There are so many angles from which to see this story, but I love it because it shows me Peter's humanity and Christ's divinity. Peter was afraid; he needed a Savior. Christ was disappointed, but he did not withhold his mercy, his hand.

It's so easy to become distracted by the wind, the voice of the enemy twirling us into confusion. But if we can stop, if we can lock into the gaze of the One who commands the universe... If we can reach for his hand, we can make it... one... step... at a time, until we're walking strong and tall, maybe even running! And if you feel like you're creeping right now, you can come on over into my lane; you'll be in good company :) We'll get stronger and faster every day, reaching for Jesus.

Oh... and I just loved the picture of Jesus learning to walk :) Guess it means He's been there too. :)

Beauty of the storm

It's funny... you can go without something for so long you don't realize how you ache for it... until you suddenly have it again. The way we go too long without water, not realizing we're thirsty, until we taste it and begin to gulp breathlessly until it's gone.

I'm sitting at my kitchen window. Listening to the thunder; the rain is literally splashing through the screen onto my face. (Maybe not great for my computer, but I don't care). I didn't realize how much I had missed this. How much peace one can find in a thunder storm. I remember as a child, standing at the back screen door as a storm would roll in. There's no scent quite like that of impending rain. It's clean and fresh; you just want to drink it in. 

We haven't experienced thunderstorms in a number of years where we were living. Rain,yes, but without the storm. The power is so awesome: the lightning snapping, the thunder booming in reply... It's beautiful and frightful all at once. Awesome... like so many acts of God.

The dry, cracked earth in our yet-unfinished backyard reminds me of my soul sometimes. Just this week a friend and I were talking about being in a place where you know you need more of God, but you lack the motivation to pursue Him. "You will seek Me and find me when you seek Me with all your heart" says Jeremiah 29:13.  We talked about how God often brings us to the place of longing - will even leave us there, until we realize our need for Him and chase after Him. Countless times in the Old Testament, He brought His people to the end of themselves, and when they finally cried out to Him, He met their need, and drew them close to Himself again. Watching the rain quench the ground paints that picture for me: the relief of a parched spirit in the power, grace, even gentleness of such a great God.

I wish, instead of a picture, I could upload the smell of the rain :) and you could share it with us.

The lightning flashes and God speaks, "I am the Lord. That is my Name. I will not give my glory to another or my praise to idols" (Isaiah 42:8).

CH-CH-CH-Changes

WE MADE IT!

We are here, mostly moved in and adjusting to the change... well,... mostly. I'd like to begin with a list of the top 5 changes I did NOT anticipate.

5. The land of the risen sun:  you know... the kind that never seems to go down? Little did I know Boise was a mere 50 miles from the Pacific time zone line. So, we're basically on the same sun rotation as we were, but the times are all different. No wonder my infant wakes up an hour after his 7 pm bedtime. It's still broad daylight!

4. Altitude determining my attitude!  I grew up in mountainous Wyoming, then moved to sea level. That transition was simple, but coming back up? We feel winded and tired after climbing the stairs. LOL

3. A love affair with my gas gauge? You can get just about everywhere here in 25 minutes or so, depending on traffic. I did all my little daily errands and had barely dipped below 3/4 of a tank from Monday to Friday! I know, you all want to move here now, doncha!? ;)

2. Diverse-city. The area is touted to be about 94% caucasian, which is probably close to true, BUT I found out from a local friend, Boise is one of only 7 cities in the US that is a "refugee city." Which means we take in people fleeing death or persecution in their countries, AND the hispanic population in the valley is high enough that Mexico is planning to build a Consulate here! Kinda cool - since a lot of people told us we were moving  to a white supremacist stronghold. And the number one change I didn't anticipate....

1. That it would feel SO right. We've moved a few times, in my life and in our marriage. It's always been for God, but it never feels great to me. I KNOW it's right, but I'm always nervous; I feel out of place. It usually takes me a good 6 months to a year to feel settled. THIS move, though, feels so right. It makes sense to me, and I don't even know what sense it makes! There are so many uncertainties, but none of them phase me. It's just right. Both Dusty and I keep saying (with this kind of whimsical, weird smile), "It just feels right." Maybe this is what it felt like for Noah to build the ark or Joshua to take Jericho... "You want me to build a what?" "You want me to march around? How many times?" "You want us to start a church in Boise?"  Ok, God, whatever You say!

So, here we are. Dusty has had several of those crazy, evangelistic, fall-on-your-face-and-get-saved conversations he tends to have with random people. Daxton makes us new friends and opens doors for connections in every grocery store, restaurant, drive-through and garage sale. Draes screams a lot, but he smiles too so people think he's cute. And I just feel like I'm on some sort of amazing ride where I can't imagine or wait to see what happens next. And though I miss everyone who's not here with us, there's not a question in our minds this is where we're suppose to be. No matter what changes continue to crop up, no matter what changes we face, our God will not change. Though He is always moving, He will not BE moved. Isn't it good to know, even if everything else changes, He stays the same? Malachi 3:6 "I the Lord do not change."

We hope all your ch-ch-ch-changes find you in the Hand of an Unchanging God. Whew! The sun FINALLY went down. Maybe I can get some sleep ;).

Pics: Draes attempting his escape to the wild open and Daxton proudly displaying his latest "owwie"

ON THE MOVE

So many interpretations of a phrase...

on the MOVE...

Draes is definitely moving, moving all the time. He crawls 0-60 in 2 seconds... has the calluses on his toes to prove it :) He loves to pull up and stand. Last week he began crawling up the stairs - COMPLETELY without permission. Naughty boy! So we had to get a gate. He's begun cruising from object to object while standing, and today he even stood on his own for about 30 seconds. My heart rate goes up just watching him. He just looks back, smiles and laughs. He loves to go!

on THE move...

Daxton goes back and forth about this big move to Boise. At times he's extremely excited and wants to tell everyone all about his "new house" and what life in Boise will be like. At other times, he despairs over whether or not he'll make friends and having to say goodbye to "my best house." I'm a little amazed, as he's four, that he's already aware of and worried about his social status. But, we talk through it and I'm sure he'll be fine. He's a real helper and always wants a "job" or to help me pack. Though he'll definitely miss his friends, I can already see his ecstasy at his new adventure.

ON the move...

I wish I could say I felt we were "on" it - as in on top of, in control of, managing... but I don't think so. With just 1 week to go, my packing isn't 1/2 done. My sisters have been a help this week. Dusty has been struggling with a root canal gone bad...ok REALLY bad. Saturday night before last his cheek looked like he was chewing on a golf ball. By Sunday morning it was like a tennis ball and by Monday it was as though a large softball had taken residence in the left side of his face. He got it fixed today, after antibiotics knocked the infection out. What a mess, poor guy. We both can't believe how much has to be done! But God will see us through :) because without question He is always...

ON THE MOVE! We've recently learned one of the girls from our youth group lives in Meridian with her family - another God connection. There are so many blessings, as God continues to open one door after another. Surprises, sometimes challenges, but ever the still, small Voice, "I'm still here." Can't wait to see His new moves :) We'll catch you in Boise!

Never Alone

We were most definitely created for relationship. No matter who you are, how independent or strong, there comes a time when each of us wants to belong, feel welcome, known...

This week Dusty and I went to Boise. We figured since we're about 30 days from the move it MIGHT be a good idea to procure housing for our boys :). 

A couple gracious families agreed to keep Dax and Draes, and they had a great time. I figured Draes would take it the hardest, being so young and my more "clingy" of the two.

I was surprised. Dax got very emotional upon our return, "I just missed you so much." (Even though he'd been running and playing like a banshee on 5 acres the entire time.) He has since been at my side CONSTANTLY. But the precious moment came this morning when he and Draes reunited. Dax got up from his chair with a big smile and came to give his brother a hug and a kiss. Draes, in turn, grunted and started bouncing up and down. "Thank you for waking up Draes to come and see me," Dax said. But I could see it in his eyes... this was "home." This is what family was suppose to be: Daddy, Mommy, Daxton and Draes. 

All day we've experienced tears and had to reassure him we're all together and Mommy and Daddy will never leave him alone. I'm realizing it's simply going to take a couple days for him to see things will be as they were and we're telling the truth. We will never leave him alone.

I find myself wondering why we have to remind him. We told him before we left. We told him we'd be back. We've told him since we've BEEN back...

Funny thing is... as I look at this "thing" we are called to in Boise. There are days, moments when I shed tears. I wonder "what are we doing?" Not because I'm unsure of God's call, not because I'm unsure of His power. It's the sheer magnitude of it. Here we are moving to a land we don't know, hoping to share Christ with a people we don't fully understand, uprooting our family and others' families, leaving people we love desperately... It's in those moments I feel myself, much like my four-year-old, clinging to Jesus's leg, as it were, crying out in simple fear of the unknown, "Jesus, please go with us. Please don't leave us alone." And he smiles and whispers to me, as I whisper to my small one, who cannot see beyond his own perspective, "You are never alone. Never alone."

Excuse me while I go find my son and hold him a little tighter.

The bond of brotherhood

Hey everyone, 

Well a week or so ago, the boys "Papa" suggested I start a blog with updates and photos of the boys. I've wanted to do a blog for awhile and his "insistent look" :) gave me the extra motivation I, apparently, needed :) So here you go...

I'm taken back lately by the bond the boys already share. They're about 3 1/2 years apart, and very different in many ways, but there's this LOOK they exchange... Honestly, Dusty and I are preparing for, what will undoubtedly be, many mischievous fiascoes to come. Still, it's so fun to see them share a special affection. It's crazy, when you love someone so intently, knowing someone else sees that value in them... it's like a little club.

ANYWAY, on to the fun stuff... Draes continues to be a joy and a do-er. He's our cuddly one - stopping about every 15 minutes in his playtime to find me and solicit being held or snuggled, until he's ready to check out some new venture. He loves to touch his brother's face and crawl around on his dad. In his insta-style, Draes started pulling up to his knees, deciding to make his debut in the bathtub - much to my dismay as my soapy hands slipped and slimed to keep him upright. He just laughed. I promptly went out and purchased a bath seat. The little man still refuses to crawl; why should he when he can army crawl/inchworm across a room in 8.5 seconds, right? And, he's made it clear just HOW aware he is of his world. If he's not particularly in the MOOD for cheerios (that day) he'll make a "yucky" face, spit them out, arch his back and cry-------- Apparently he'll be the food critic in the family  :) Draes also gives his brother a run for his money. There will be no "I can take your toy away because you're just a baby" for this one. If Dax decides Drae shouldn't have something and tries to take it, a loud protest quickly sounds. Even so, everything big brother does is SO FUNNY, so they seem to make amends easily right now.

Speaking of Dax... he's growing up SO fast. His heart and his mind amaze me. He is all creativity and compassion. His imagination is off the charts lately; every moment holds some new song or scenario or idea for how we can dance to this or build that or... I find myself wishing there was nothing else to do so I could escape with him to these places he's going. Childhood really is more fun the second time around  (though my mom says the third is even better :). Dax decided the other week he wanted to open a school so he could teach all the kids. He's very much a people person - unafraid of anyone in any situation... LOL and unafraid to share our entire family history and the contents of his stomach :) I wish I had his pluck! And, oh, how he loves his brother! The other day, in his breakfast prayer, he thanked God for "making a baby named Draes." In the car, when Draes is upset, he gives him the play-by-play of where we are and how long until we'll be there. "It's ok, Draes. We're almost home. Don't be sad, mommy just loves you and daddy just loves you and I love you and Jesus loves you. You're a part of our family." Today I walked in the room to see them lying on the floor, face to face. Dax was saying, "Draes, you can't pick your nose. You need to ask for help. And you can't spit; you should ask for a napkin. And  you need to share your toys with people." He's such a helper. I've started packing for the move, so he writes labels for the boxes and cuts them out and scotch tapes them to the box. :) 

As much as our children need us to grow and learn and be shaped into their pathways, I wonder if we need them more to be reminded of the beauty and the joy of life, and what's truly important in the end...

Well, it's late, so I should end this. I'll try to keep up with it, as I don't know when I'll ever be able to figure out the old web page. Hope you are all well. Know there are 4 Taylors who love you!