Greetings Friends and Family!
Wow! It has been quite a year. We bid 2013 farewell with the happy news that we were expecting baby number 4! Then 2014 came in like a flood...
In January, we found out our little would be a girl, but that she had a condition called polydactyly - which could mean as little as extra digits and as much as only surviving hours outside the womb. For months we prayed, wrestled and waited surrendering to the sovereign heart of God again and again. It was, in a word, overwhelming.
In May, as we waited for our daughter’s arrival, my (Tammi’s) mom landed in the hospital with stomach pain. Exploratory surgery discovered stage 3, peritoneal mesothelioma. Originally, they gave her 4 to 6 months to live. It was devastating, overwhelming.
During that same time, a pastor and friend of ours approached Dusty about merging our two church plants. He and his wife had been called to the mission field and did not want to leave their grace-filled community in the hands of just “any normal pastor” (I believe that’s how he put it. Ha ha!) Combining churches, visions, people...? Overwhelming.
How often do so many of us find ourselves - as we walk this life - in similar situations with circumstances and questions so daunting we scarcely know how to step, let alone survive? We pursue happiness praying it will bring with it the joy that staves off despair only to discover that trial always seems to find us. How grateful I am, when I consider the life of Jesus, that He was no stranger to the overwhelming nature of this life.
Think of the circumstances surrounding his arrival: A mother with a highly suspect explanation for how she could be a virgin and “with child” simultaneously. A betrothed with an equally implausible argument as to why he was standing by his girl. An unlikely audience of shepherds composing terror at the sight of heavenly messengers (Oh to be thus terrified!). And a delivery, surrounded by livestock and hay! We sing “Silent Night,” but I dare say...overwhelming.
Then consider the state of his departure: Falsely accused. Wrongly convicted in unlawful trials. Abandoned by those who swore devotion. Cursed on a tree even in His innocence. Broken for those whose sin demanded his life as ransom for their redemption. OVERWHELMING.
And when we sit with him in the quiet of our desperation and become, as He was, acquainted with sorrows, our hearts are suddenly permitted to draw further in to His heart. We taste sweeter the peace of His presence. We are filled more deeply from the well of His love. And His strength is made perfect in our weakness.
Life can feel and be overwhelming. Sometimes we are struck by and must stop in the enormity of its moments. And yet life does not stop moving, and God does not stop sustaining, amazing and, yes, overwhelming - by his goodness, his comfort, his assurance, his grace and his love.
Our little Taelyn entered this life on May 15th, healthier than we had dared hope. She had extra digits on three appendages, but no other complications. She is growing, learning and lighting all of our lives. OVERWHELMING!
My mom got a second opinion at MD Anderson in Houston and qualified for radical surgery. On July 23rd, she underwent a ten-hour procedure which extended her prognosis from a few months to 8 to 15 YEARS! Her journey has opened a new door for her to minister to others with cancer. She has introduced several hopeless people to MD Anderson where they, too, have found greater victory over the disease. OVERWHELMING!
In August, two little church plants started holding services together. In September, Revive Church launched anew: two stories, two backgrounds, two hearts becoming one just as the Lord our God is ONE! I have been amazed and healed as I watch this group of people extend such grace and hope toward one another. God continues to say, “Keep watching! I’m going to do things you have never seen and could scarcely imagine!” OVERWHELMING!
In the midst of all that, Dax turned 11 this year. He is in 5th grade, almost as tall as I and growing into such a young man. He has been a life-saver with Miss Taelyn. During all the crazy and transition, he has stepped up to help both his dad and I carry the load. He is such a great big brother (I call him my “manny”), and his sister adores him. It has been fun watching his heart for the Lord grow. He reads his Bible independently and applies the stories he’s read to situations we face. That’s been cool!
Draes turned 7 in June and is in 2nd grade. He continues to blow our minds with his compassionate servant’s heart. We were overjoyed when he chose to be baptized this year in Revive’s first baptism service! His passion for justice and truth is a bright spot in the world. Once recently, as we were discussing whether it was the best choice to give money to people panhandling, he quickly decided we should build them a house and give them his bed instead. It’s pretty humbling to raise such a kid.
Dezdin turned 6 in November and couldn’t be more proud. He is all humor and logic, so when I get little stick figure drawings with hearts, the “I love you” sign or he asks for a snuggle, I soak it up. He is thriving in Kindergarten and seems to have found his niche in school. His greatest goal, currently, is to get to first grade so he can eat lunch at school like his brothers. “Mom, how many days ‘til I’m in first grade?” is a weekly question. He constantly causes me to shift my perspective and see the world from a new angle.
Taelyn is 7 months old as I write this. She is beginning to push up on her knees, but not sitting or crawling yet. I have a sneaking suspicion once she starts moving, I won’t ever get to stop. She loves people and the din that surrounds them. It’s a beautiful thing to watch her place her fully-extended, six-fingered hand against someone’s cheek and bury her head into their neck. As her name intended, she seems to bring beauty and light wherever she goes. We are humbled and grateful to know her.
Dusty... ha ha, well, I say it every year, but he continues to spin circles around us! He remained rock solid through all the questions surrounding Tae, my mom’s cancer, and - with the great help of the Holy Spirit, our friend Dennis and the amazing people of Revive - navigated a merger this year! I’m always amazed at the sheer amount of what he can shoulder.
Alas, I (Tam) cannot measure my accomplishments by completions (unless you count mounds of diapers changed, meals consumed, dishes done, loads of clothing laundered or tender, loving moments shared. :) But the Lord never lets me far from His assurance that this is an important job, and that he handpicked me to be heart and hand for this not-so-little family. My prayer is that you can embrace the same assurance for your current season of life.
So as another year closes - a blip on the radar of our loving Father’s eternity - I feel compelled to rejoice and give glory to our OVERWHELMING GOD! Because His “overwhelming” overpowers all the circumstances of this life.
I leave you with HIS indelible words: “I have told you these things so that you will have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33
4 comments:
Beautiful! Your family has touch my life this year! I am amazed by your passion for God and people! I truly am blessed to have you in my world!
You, my cherished friend, are a gift and a treasure in my gracefully broken life. I thank your Papa for that- for you. You encourage and inspire- simply by living your beautiful life. Thank you for your friendship and thank you for honesty. Tam, I'm honored to dance through this life with you. xox~Ru
And by "your Papa", I meant "OUR Papa". : )
xox~Ru
Tam, I love your perspective and your heart for Jesus. :) Keep writing, friend!
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